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| Rosca de Reyes (shoutout to Aunt Jody for the great hot cocoa!) |
Yes, for the first time I celebrated Epiphany. In the midst of my Epiphany celebrations, I celebrated countless epiphanies. This whole YAGM experience is starting to feel like a year long epiphany season. I'm usually not one for ~according to Miriam-Webster~ quotes and definitions. But this time I've got to hand it to my girl Miriam, because she hit the nail on the head.
Epiphany-a usually sudden manifestation or perception of the essential nature or meaning of something, an intuitive grasp of reality through something (as an event) usually simple and striking.
an intuitive grasp of reality through something usually simple and striking
Some Epiphany highlights and related epiphanies.
1) Back to school after a three week long Christmas break!
2) Was sent on an secret mission to go down into town during recess to pick up a rosca cake to have an incognito convivio with the other Maestras to celebrate the Reyes Magos and spend some fun time together after three weeks apart.
3) I celebrated the fourth birthday of one of my favorite pals and coloring buddy, Magaly. Cut into my third rosca and this time found the baby Jesus doll (still not convinced my host mom giggling while cutting the cake and my receiving the muñequito were unrelated...)
4) Hannah and Josh came and visited! We hiked, sampled fresh pulque, and ate a ton of Mole.
5) I enjoyed a long weekend with my family in Mexico State. We visited the Monarch Butterfly preserve, Valle del Bravo, and spent the day exploring Frida Kahlo's neighborhood, Coyoacan.
6) Celebrated Dia del Candelario for the first time. I helped make tamales and successfully replicated the Plauka family favorite hummingbird cake (now dubbed pastel de colibri) and went to the Mass to have our images of the Christ child blessed.
7) Ran into a few of the more *spirited* 5th and 6th grade boys outside the gym on my way to zumba class. They told me they practice soccer there three times a week right before my class starts. Now I leave for class a little earlier so we stop to chat and joke around as they're on their way back up the hill and I'm on my way down.
8) At school we celebrated the end of the first semester workshops and got geared up for the second semester ones. I've started to give a photography workshop-stay tuned!
9) I participated in my third Consejo Tecnico Escolar with the rest of the Maestras. At the end of each month, every primary school suspends class so that the teachers can participate in state mandated professional development meetings. This month we focused on planning school wide math and reading activities so that all our students would see improved understanding. We discussed students who were struggling, and collaborated on ways to best serve them.
Before I knew it, I was packing to head to our midyear border immersion retreat. When waiting for the bus from Apizaco to Mexico City, the reality of the words "mid year" sunk in and a wave of anxiety and self-doubt washed over me.
I'd arrived at the halfway point of my YAGM experience. Shouldn't I be doing "better" than this by now? By now I should have met...and surpassed (because let's be real you can take the girl out of achievement-oriented college life, but taking the achievement-oriented out of the girl is a bit trickier) all of the expectations I'd set for myself. By the halfway point I'll be fully integrated into my community, I'll truly understand what it means to be in accompaniment, my students will all earn 8s and higher on their English midterms, I'll be 100% fluent in Spanish, I'll have tons friends, I'll feel like part of a family, I'll be thriving everyday in Tlaxco.
That was all supposed to happen by our mid year retreat. I was supposed to receive some celestial sign telling me that this year was progressing successfully. So, I kept waiting and I kept watching. I kept trying to put metrics on how well my time here was going-to prove to myself that yea, I've got this YAGM thing on lock. I kept hoping that my giant, neon sign saying "you're doing great, Alyssa" was waiting just around the corner.
That didn't happen. Nor will it or should it.
Instead of a flashing neon sign...
I laughed with my host sisters over coffee about our countries' pretty laughable political situations.
I finally realized that when people are telling a story and refer to a person as "Fulano"-that's not a specific person that's just a name to use when you don't remember the person's name. (Though, now I'm disappointed I'll never meet Don Fulano who I was convinced was the most popular person in Tlaxco, because EVERYONE was telling stories about him...).
I sat and listened as Emmanuel told me about the different places he could sign up for middle school, and where would be the best place to further his dream of becoming a physician for the Navy.
I wrote up lesson plans and submitted midyear grades.
I learned more about my host family's personal relationship with US border policies, from my host mom's father's time as a brasero and his 12 contracted trips across the border, to my host cousin's unjust deportation.
I got to show two of my closest pals my life in Tlaxco.
I still make lots of grammar errors and have yet to master the subjunctive tense. I'm still trying to figure out what accompaniment, interdependence, and mutuality mean for me in my life here in Tlaxco. There are still days when I feel like an outsider. There are still days when July feels really far away.
These past 7 months (jury's still out on how we've reached month number 7) have proven to me time and time again, that growing in relationship is not a linear process and trying to mold it into one is useless and frustrating. Understanding comes in sudden manifestations, in bouts and spurts. Nothing hugely earth shattering happened in the 6 weeks of the season of Epiphany-my life continued, school progressed, holidays passed. But in the midst of what's become my norm for this year, I experienced epiphanies of every sort.
My midyear epiphanies didn't provide me the affirmation I thought I needed. They didn't tell me if I was YAGM-ing "right"(whatever that means). These epiphanies weren't about me coming to some grand realization through my own intentional work or practice. They are truths that have been revealed to me through the most quotidian and yet really holy of ways. They are truths that continue to be revealed to me through the grace of my host community.
Tlaxco is home-truth.
There is nothing more valuable than reminding a child they are precious-truth.
Nothing beats family bonding with carne asada and pulque-truth.
Understanding puns in Spanish is hard-truth.
The reality of the US-Mexican border is heartbreaking, personal, and somehow still hope-filled-truth.
Patience, grace, and love are critical-truth.
If you pay attention, you can experience holy epiphanies everyday-truth.
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